Impulses to think about love.
Who do you love? Your own children? Your family, your partner? Occasionally do you also love your friends? Your pet? Is that enough? Or do you sometimes feel not loved, valued or recognized? Have you reduced love?
I am talking about the love that gives you a feeling of security, trust and inner peace. And at the same time ignites the blazing fire of joy and enthusiasm within you. We (Western societies) have reduced this infinite source of attachment to the dependence on other people.
Why do I think about it? Because I experience it every day. When I work with people, be it in coaching or in the seminar, you are all looking for the same. The unconditional recognition and love. Unfortunately, our concept of love is pretty strange.
Do you find yourself in the following description?
Depending on what injury you have experienced, you limit your love. You give it as a reward to manipulate or achieve something. You evade it as punishment or education. You make conditions and have expectations of love. But you often remain empty. For if you use it as an instrument that depends on the behavior of others, you stop the flow of love. In the same time you avoid the flow of a wonderful power within you that reaches far beyond everyday life.
Result: You sometimes feel lonely, somehow detached, senseless, empty. You replace this emptiness with performance, consumption or food and drinks.
Because love has become a rare, precious asset for us, we must protect and hold it. We believe that a certain person is the supplier and cling to it. We chain ourselves together by all means. This is precisely what separates us from love. The stream of warm, tingling energy and connectedness that we feel when we are in love is, in truth, always there.
As a small child we consist only of trust and joy. We even think for a long time that everything is "I". It is like a deep consistency with existence and all human beings. We give ourselves to the now with full joy, until the moment when an injured person (mother, father etc.) punishes us for it. At this moment, the child becomes aware that love can flow only under certain conditions.
People who are separated from love leave bounce off the childish stream of connectedness, or suck it selfishly before they limit and hurt. Children can not protect themselves or understand the complexity, so they imitate adults because they believe and trust them. They learn from them that love is limited, can be betrayed, served as power and hidden. They loose joy, curiosity, vitality and playfulness, the companions of love.
Basically, you can love every human being when you manage to break your own limits, who, when, how much your love somebody. In order to go beyond these limits, the only effective protection against the disappointment of not-loving human beings is the self-love. If you are dealing with a person who has not yet learned the principle of true love, it is quite contagious. You, as an adult, have the chance to prevent the feeling of non-love by protecting yourself internally against it. A child can not. On the basis of the love of oneself, you remain in the stream of connectedness, even with the people who are far from love. The foundation is thus in you, not in the others. If you wait for your fellow to begin, you may wait forever.
Our natural way would be to love each other unconditionally. But that does not go with everyone in this world. Unconditional means also to trust that one fills the other with force when life tears him temporarily out of his midst. And I do not have to know the other 20 years, have married, be related or get money for it. Everyone has a feeling for others. Only when naked people want to grab each other's pockets, no one is served.
I can get the baker's wife out of her present suffering as well as my own child. This, however, sounds like a safe world that we have not yet. I just want to tell you that every moment in which love flows is a step into paradise. It is necessary to stir up the people who are fighting and have to live with the smallest portions of affection.
Family, partnership, children, friends, we have reduced love and therefore we protect these things with our lives against enemies. For if we were to lose them, we would be alone. That makes fear. Then the last bit of love would be gone. And this appears to many as a dark existence. Unfortunately, most people are the overwhelming time on the wrong road. They fight, hate, envy, blame, despise, betray and ignore. They doubt, feel ashamed, feel guilty, fear or feel worn out. All these deviations must be recognized and changed.
The concept love must be broken. We must learn to see our world anew without destroying everything we have achieved.
Love (to yourself, to all people, to existence, to the moment) can be a wonderful partner in everyday life.
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